“Glory of God is a man fully alive” (St. Athanasius)
I don’t know your name, but there is something I need to tell you. It’s a dangerous truth that must be handled with the care of a surgeon. Countless men have damaged their souls by neglecting this truth – or abusing it. Treat it like fire. Its potential usefulness is incalculable; it’s destructiveness, terrifying.
The truth is this: to be a man is a glorious gift. Rare is the voice in the modern world that will admit this. To many, masculinity is a cultural virus; the world would be a safer place if the concept were eradicated. To others, it is a source of embarrassment. Just as a lot of people in recent years have fidgeted when asked the question, “What is a “woman?”, they feel the same discomfort if asked, “What is a man?”. Fearful of hitting a political trip wire, a lot of us do all we can to sidestep the subject matter.
Thus, you’ve probably never heard what I’m about to tell you: Rather than being a mere fact of biology, or the excrement of culture, being a man is an awesome gift (in the old sense of awe-inducing). God has designed us to put something on display that no other creature can in quite the same way – not even a woman.
What is this? In a word, it’s masculinity. As strange as it may sound, God’s relationship to creation is not fundamentally feminine, but masculine. This means that to be a man is to find oneself in an alarmingly important role. We are to some extent mirrors of God. Our lives are supposed to illustrate something of what it means that a heavenly Father is tending the universe.
How should we think about this? Imagine that you are born a prince to the mightiest of kings. Now, do not picture yourself as a listless brat who is spoiled by pampering. Instead, think of a well-tutored son who has been educated and trained for public service. The king has tasked you to live in a foreign district and govern an area on his behalf. How would you feel if you inherited such a role? The more that you respected the character and majesty of your father, the king, the heavier the responsibility would weigh on your shoulders. You would not feel the luxury of living for amusement and self-indulgence. The reputation of the king would rise or fall based on your day-to-day choices.
Such is the high calling of men on earth. Although men and women share the privilege of being image-bearers of God, and although the dignity and worth of men is no more than that of women, still, there are differences between them. Paul highlights this in I Corinthians 11:7 when he refers to men as being “the image and glory of God” in a special sense. His point is that men have a function in God’s cosmos that is unique. We potentially make something of God legible that cannot be read elsewhere. The rule of the king ought to be seen in his princes.
Hence, the first truth that men need to awaken to regarding masculinity is this: it’s a serious thing to be born a man. The words of Jesus can be quoted here: “to whom much is given, much is expected” (Luke 12:48).
At this point I need to read the warning label that is attached to being a man. How easy it would be for a prince who has been granted an important charge to neglect his duty and to abuse his position? Jesus gives a parable about stewards getting drunk and physically beating those under them while the master of the house is away on business. All of us need to feel the risk of this temptation. History is littered with bad specimens of princes, kings, bosses, dads, husbands, and boyfriends who use their strength for evil. Generally, this is what our culture calls “toxic masculinity”. Such poison is a consequence of men corrupting the gift that God has given them. Instead of reflecting the tender love, inviolable purity, and egoless humility that is the heart of God, we disgrace Him by living out the opposite. And, as much as pop culture gets wrong about gender, it gets one thing right: there are few sins more destructive than manliness out of control.
Yet, in spite of the poor record of men, we cannot abandon our purpose. Men can no more cancel their calling than they can sever themselves from their bodies. Like it or not, politically correct or not, men are uniquely responsible before God. We have the enormous task of replicating on earth a Fatherly love that is the very essence of what it means to be masculine.
So, how will we be protected from abusing such a grand, but dangerous gift? Two things need to be said.
First, authentic masculinity begins with humility. Humility is the way in which we locate the soul. If pride is looking down at others from a high perch, humility is looking up at God from valley of total dependency. The more we measure our position in relation to the exalted status of God, the more autonomy will give way to accountability. Rather than feel puffed up with a sense of authority, we feel the weight of duty. The greater the gift, the heavier the load. Men need to feel the burden of their masculinity if it is to be released for the good of others.
Second, godliness is the necessary path for growing into authentic manhood. One of the most basic rules of theology is that you can only know the self by knowing God, and you can only know God by knowing the self. This is true in a special way when we are thinking of masculinity. If it is true that men are meant to be a reflection of certain features of God, then we can only know what we ought to be by studying the Original. To look anywhere else, including cultural traditions, will only result in a caricature.
Not much can be said here regarding the character of God. I’ll limit myself to one comment. The God of the Bible is the complete opposite of every pagan conception of divinity. Men need to appreciate this because pagan deities are more or less giant inflatables of toxic masculinity. They are celestial projections of manhood gone awry.
The Bible offers a unique profile of the strength that is the referent of the word “God”. The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob – the God who comes as Jesus and gives his life on the cross for sinners – is the perfect pattern of Fatherly love. He alone communicates the ideal of masculinity. Therefore, if we want to be authentic men, there is one thing we must prioritise above all else. We must pursue godliness. It is only as we are lovers of God that we will learn what it means to love those under our care.